6 Ways to Feel Less Stressed Today

Stress is everywhere. From the moment we open our eyes and see devastation on the news, to rush-hour traffic, to unreasonable work expectations, or navigating challenging people.

Throughout our day, often without noticing, we can allow stress to fill our buckets until we basically have two options – overwhelm or shut-down. Overwhelm, or hyper-arousal can feel like anxiety, agitation, frustration, or panic. Shut-down, or hypo-arousal, can look like depression, exhaustion, or dissociation (tuning out). 

Without the means to self-soothe, dissociation becomes what humans rely on, to tune out from stressful and uncomfortable feelings. Initially helpful, dissociation becomes habitual and we find ourselves more and more reliant on behaviors that are ultimately disconnecting us from what matters, such as endless phone scrolling, binge watching tv, mindless eating, substance use, or spacing out. Dissociation is not a state of calm, it is a state of numbness. When we are numb, we are unable to access joy and contentment. 

Effectively handling stress by learning effective coping strategies allows us to periodically release pressure from the stress valve, keeping us in a state of balance, and decreasing the need for maladaptive dissociation. 

Here are 6 ways to start effectively handling stress that you can start TODAY:

1. Learn the difference between how Calm and Numb feel in your body. 

Begin to journal what activities help you feel calm (vs numb) and practice. 

2. Explicitly identify your sources of stress. 

Write them down. The brain has difficulty problem solving vague sources of stress or worry. When we make these triggers explicit and obvious, our brain can actually begin the process of problem solving and facing fears. Consider journaling.

3. Incorporate relaxation strategies at regular intervals throughout your day. 

These only need to be 3-5 minutes to be effective, as long as they are practiced at regular intervals. Don’t wait until you’re already in hyper or hypo arousal states, at which time it will be much harder to choose and practice your skill. Examples of quick relaxation techniques include:

• Simple breathing techniques (also sometimes known as heart coherence as it can synchronize your breathing and heartrate).  Try inhaling for 3, 4, or 5 seconds and doubling your exhale in length.

• Walking with intention (paying attention to your feet on the ground, paying attention to sensory details of what you notice)

• Simple imagery exercises.  Try thinking of a place (real or imagined) that evokes a sense of internal peace.  Notice 5 things you see, smell, hear, touch, or experience in your peaceful place

• Download a 5 minute meditation

• Pick up or hold an object, and mindfully describe it in as much detail as possible

4. Expand your tolerance of stressful moments by implementing healthy lifestyle choices. 

Physical activity, spending time in the sunshine, prioritizing sleep, and a nutritious diet can increase your resilience and enhance mood boosting chemicals. And, they can start to work as soon as you implement them!  

5. Practice time management and make sure to include periods of unstructured time in your schedule. 

Most people thrive if they are able to schedule and protect time for work, play, social engagement, and relaxation. Try and also create a few hours per week (or day) of completely unstructured time, where you don’t plan anything specifically. During unstructured time you tune into your body, and ask yourself what it needs in that very moment. Honoring your body and making choices to what it needs in those moments helps to enhance a sense of inner peace and trust that one can care for their own needs successfully. 

6. Seek support. 

Though many of us experience similar stressors common to the human experience, we also respond uniquely to triggers specific to our history of hurt, trauma, or wounding. Therapy can help increase awareness to why individuals respond with more intensity to certain situations or people. Certain therapy techniques, such as EMDR therapy, can help reduce the frequency and severity of triggers, by healing old emotional wounds.     

One final tip:  No one should attempt this many changes at once.  Instead, pick just a few things on this list and make small commitments to yourself. Once you create a new habit, consider adding another, and then another. Starting small builds trust in ourselves which we need for motivation and lasting change.